You’ve come home from a long day of work, your boss seemed like they had a fight with their spouse and was taking it out on the whole team. As you enter the house the first thing you see is dirty dishes in the sink leftover from the dinner eaten without you and it was you who prepared it as well! You try to ignore the effect this has on you but then your husband plain out refuses to put the dishes in the dishwasher because he’s “tired” even though you recall him texting you that he got out from work early today. This ends up to be a big fight between the two of you.
What Went Wrong?
On the other side of things, the husband in reality took a half day from work, which resulted in him also getting reprimanded by his boss, because he had to go see his childhood best friend as he’s been diagnosed with leukemia but he doesn’t want anyone knowing yet so he has to keep it a secret from you. This situation turns into an argument which turns into a big fight because of incomplete information available to you and bitter temperaments of both due to external factors that have little or nothing to do with the relationship.
This is a classic example of ineffective communication between a couple, with raised tempers and heightened emotions that might actually be valid but are brought up in a way that their validity is minimized into nonexistence, causing what could have been a small problem snowball into a larger issue shedding unnecessary damage to an otherwise healthy marriage. The fact is that there is no such thing as a perfect marriage and issues like these can lead to separation or even divorce as it does with so many couples.
The Role of Couples Counseling In Providing Perspective
Counseling can help identify what you as individuals are unable to communicate to each other, a third person’s perspective that is skilled in the use of the diagnostic tools of reframing negative thoughts in your heads into positive outcomes for a healthy marriage. As with the example of the couple that was given earlier, an outside person can see the issue at hand that the key players are too limited by their investment of emotions including other factors which by the way, is completely valid on its own but with the collision of two worlds, leads to greater disturbances.
Couples Counseling – The Key to A Healthy Marriage
That being said, it is also important to mention that counseling is not a holy grail that will immediately solve all your relationship problems. But it can be the key to a healthy marriage between two if the individuals involved put in the time to commit to regular sessions of counseling in order to have the desired effect of establishing a better relationship. As with any decent counselor, the priority should be hashing out the unhealthy bits and the destructive behavioral patterns in order to first identify the issues that might be going unnoticed and reframe them in constructive ways for your relationship to grow in the healthy and beautiful manner that it has the potential to.